Self Licking Ice Cream Cone: Why You Want to Hire an English Major

Why an English Degree is a Good Thing in the Business World.

                First off I would like to point out what I titled this entry, and I use the word entry because this is going to be more train of thought than strict essay because I graduated fairly recently, and it will be another few months before I want to write a formal essay again. Also the word is off-putting and some of you would likely run screaming into the night if I referred to this entry as an essay, but I digress. I titled this entry “Why an English Degree is a Good Thing in the Business World,” because I, like most literature majors, understand the immense power words have.

                You see how I began with the word “Why”? I did so because it is a simple and inviting phrase that tells you that I will be answering a question and/or proving a point (the fact that no one asked and you might not care is irrelevant; you are my audience and I shall do with you as I please). People like to ask “why?”, and they like answers; so my essay… I mean entry… begins by selling its very purpose to you, because that’s what an intelligent paper, entry, or essay does; it sells you, the reader, on investing your time into letting me sell you my product, which in this world is but a humble idea. That’s right I am comparing word choice to sales. You’re still reading so I still have you. Suck it.

                Upon reading my entry’s title you will also note that I use the phrase “English Degree,” and not “Liberal Arts Degree.” That is because my major was English and this is my blog, also the phrase “English Degree” reads like it has much more prestige and is free of the negative connotation associated with “Liberal Arts Degree.” I cannot speak for the value of people with other majors, because I am not them, and they’re not helping me write this, so why would I let them hang off my coattails? I’m nowhere near successful enough to have moochers. People see “Liberal Arts” and they think “easy” or at best “not focused,” well that’s not true, and to avoid that stigma, boom, “English Degree.” Again I am demonstrating the power of word choice. You see how I make my point seem more sophisticated by using a term no more or less meaningful than the one it replaces, but is more free of the “silly youth squandering an education” connotation of “Liberal Arts”.  Again, I’m using word choice and connotation, both drilled endlessly into my brain by my education, to sell you on my idea and myself.

Myself, Punching Literature with my Brain Fist

           



    Next, I used the description of “a Good Thing.” This is also very intentional. I am not sitting on my worn out bean bag chair, typing on a Mac Book my daddy got me, throwing words around willy-nilly between bong hits. It’s a wingback chair, a Toshiba Satellite my mom got me, and I’m sipping Maker’s Mark making deliberate word choices because that is what I am good at. See, “a Good Thing” says that I’m a simple down-to-earth type of bloke (pretending not to be pompous). I could have used more highfalutin stand-ins like “Positive Attribute, Alluring Attribute, or Laudable Position”, but I chose “Good Thing” because words need not cost more than the meaning they provide. It is the economics of good writing; it is the avoidance of verbiage (see what I did there?).  Isn’t that statement smarter sounding, but less approachable and connective than just saying “Good writers deliver their point in words that are attainable to the broadest audience,” or, “Say what you mean and don’t be an asshole.” If I am trying to connect with you, my audience, the people I am trying to sell my product, my idea, myself to, I should use wording that connects us, not things that show off. There’s a reason they call them “Ten Dollar Words,” and they cost more than they are worth. See, marketing through connectivity and a basic understanding of cost benefit analysis. Business things!

                On the subject of “a Good Thing,” I would also like to point out how I could have used a negative statement like “Not a Bad Thing,” or,” Is not useless,” but in a sales pitch one wants to avoid attaching any negative, even if meant in a positive way, to their product. Use negatives in positive ways to describe the undeniable positive attributes of the competition. Individual words have meanings that stack, so I did not use any in my title.

                The end of the title, “Business World” is straight forward. Like most English Majors, I wanted to be an author, then found out how much stability and money there is in that and am thus shooting for copywriter or advertiser, “Business World” tells you what I am aiming for doing, and the fact that I am thrilled to be selling out is my final sale of this entry.

                See an English Degree is an awesome thing in the land of business. Knowing how to appeal to an audience in writing is the same as appealing to an audience of customers. Word budgeting rolls into real budgeting; there is only so much attention and money to be paid. Being able to prove your idea and/or back up your point is selling it. A paper is a sales transaction on a much more clever and subtle scale.

                You, as an employer might not see the value in an English Major, but we have more experience in selling the intangible than most salesman and we’re much better at bullshitting.

So how ‘bout a job?