Planet Fitness Key to Success

I am agitated.

A really good (lazy) way of showing agitation through writing is by foregoing introductions and jumping directly into your venomous topic.

or you can punch the keyboard

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That was a bad joke, Hayden, and your pathological need to use humor as a way to make people like you is softening the argument you are to start now.

I despise Planet Fitness. It is a sham of a gym with too little equipment that makes policies and has services that are deliberately detrimental to actual training.The more infamous of these being the Lunk Alarm (used to single out people grunting or using excessive weight) and days where the gym itself provides high carb and fat foods like pizza and bagels. The floor plans of the gym are also very focused around shamefully placing the free weights in the corner (because you might feel "gymtimidated"by heavy lifters),  tightly clustering the weight machines [which makes them unpleasant to be in as you are forced to stare at someone either face to face, or gaze directly into their asshole (I think Nietzsche has a famous quote about what happens when one stares into the abyss)], and only giving physical and visual space to the circuit training area (for short, timed, and ordered exercises) and the cardio equipment. 

Now notice how the circuit training equipment is yellow and the cardio equipment is either black or white, while the weight machines are all that foul purple?

Notice how the circuit training area is set up so that you don't have to look directly at someone and is typically in a semi-circular enclosure so outsiders cannot really look in?

Why do you think a gym would seek to push out bodybuilders and power lifters willing to pay more for gym memberships?

Why provide bagels and pizza?

Why cater to people demanding to pay less for your gym?

Continue on for more ranting...

The answer is that the people who run Planet Fitness are business and marketing geniuses. Despite my hatred for their establishment, one must always give credit where brilliance is worthy, and brilliance is had in spades by those running this place. Magnificent pricks that they are.

Planet Fitness runs adds that court people who feel intimidated by the mere presence of gym rats so it makes perfect sense that they would deliberately try to not cater to gym rats. Planet Fitness has a clearly defined target audience and actively seeks to disenfranchise those that alienate said audience. Not only does Planet Fitness do so by deliberately mocking the gym rat in its ad campaigns, they do this with very smart layouts. The preferred workout of the bodybuilder and the power-lifter is the free weight, so the planners at P.F. placed that section in the corner of the gym like a naughty child, this way you have to walk through an area of people on machines that are positioned to be staring directly at you while you are walking (which people don't like because its reeeaaallly awkward), and by placing it in the corner, and away from the rest of the populace, you effectively isolate you're desired audience from the "gymtimidators". 

The rat's are further made to feel uncomfortable by the tightly packed machine area filled with hideous purple machines. This condensed machine area is not packed merely for the sake of saving space, it is to make the area as unpleasant to be in as possible. People tend to not like being sardined, and having such little room makes it difficult to work out with a friend because there just isn't room to non bean them in the noggin with the equipment. Additionally that purple color that is assigned to the weight machines outside of the circuit zone, that is in no way accidental. According to these sources that I have cherry-picked to support my article, purple has the negative effect of making people feel inferior and suppressed. Also, because purple is infrequent in the natural world, heavy use of it can make things appear artificial. So, a bunch of purple can affect people negatively, making them feel unwelcome by an artificial environment and then lends itself to feelings of suppression and inferiority. This is not exactly a shade conducive to good workout.

Ooga Booga!!!

"If they're going to put this much clever energy into making the gym rat uncomfortable, why cater to them at all by having the equipment at all?" you may ask, rhetorical device. One reason is very simple: a "Lunk" still has money, and that's kinda what business people like to make. The second reason is a bit more manipulative, and therefore more interesting, and therefore I will write about it more. If you you are marketing to a demographic of average Joes and Joe-ettes (Joesephines? Jo-Jos? Joans?), and the basis of your marketing campaign is that you're a nice fitness club that will keep you safe from "lunks" and "gymtimidators" than you want to make for damn sure you have one or two of  them in their confined weight corners or crammed weight machines. Having a captive gym-rat or two reminds your target member what all of the other gyms are filled with and why it's not safe to go anywhere else; monsters have to be displayed to the public periodically to remind them what they're afraid of.

Preening douchebags like this guy.
Side Note: I'm way more jacked now.

But why does Planet Fitness cater to this demographic? Why does it give them the friendly, and uplifting yellow, and the clean and neutral blacks and whites? And how can they be profitable with membership fees that range from $10-20? My-oh-my, fictitious person acting as a rhetorical device, you are an inquisitive one. Planet Fitness caters to the kind of people that buy into these fictitious and overblown stereotype gym bullies and gives them bagels and pizzas and pleasant colored equipment because they almost never actually go to the gym. That is how you profit off of a monthly, ten dollar membership; you don't really have to provide them with anything since they're not there. They just want the key-tag that shows they work out. People who will do predetermined circuits do not research and develop their own work-out regiment, people who eat pizza and bagels often are people who do not research and develop a diet to create the body they want, and people who only do cardio-- they're simply not the type of people that go to the gym that often. The casual gym goer does not break or wear down equipment; they don't push around a lot of weight often enough. That saves the gym a huge amount of overhead on maintenance cost. With infrequent attendees, a gym does not need as much space to house them because they aren't there to take up the space. This reduces the cost of square footage which in turn lowers the cost of A/C, heat, and electric. Smaller space also requires fewer employees to clean and keep track of the gym. And at such a low cost of membership, many people can simply forget that they're paying for a gym membership. That is how Planet Fitness makes it's money off such an inexpensive membership fee; it is a gym for people who do not go.

It is this "low overhead equates to a higher profit" business model, coupled with an excellent marketing campaign that brings in members that increase revenue while not costing the gym any additional money that makes this such a successful "fitness club"

That kind of business model is also what has caused the explosion of CrossFit gyms. We gym rats despise CrossFit because it's a fitness fad, it's showy, and we are generally terrible at it. Because I hate it, I also have to point out that it is not training, it is exercise.  Yes, it is exhausting, but it's also just cardio in a muscle suit, but I digress... CrossFit has exploded in popularity because lean looks are whats "in" and CrossFit is cardio, so word of mouth marketing has pushed it very far. You also see a huge increase in the amount of CrossFit "gyms" because they cost next to nothing to facilitate. You need a few cheap plastic or rubber weights, a few mats, some ropes, a few bars, and used tires. You're start up cost is lower because you don't need to buy much expensive weight equipment or Olympic style weights. Your overhead is lower because you don't need to pay for the upkeep of equipment you never had to buy and because you only need one trainer to teach a class of 30+ people. It's smart business but this Planet Fitness and CrossFit business model is bleeding into our gyms, and that is a big bummer.

Please

Don't do it

A real gym that caters to gym rats is expensive in both membership and upkeep. We gym rats have and are perfectly willing to pay from triple to quintuple the cost of a P.F. membership for a real gym. We want the equipment and we want to beat the piss out of it. We want to make fun of each other and hangout, and we want the space to do it in. We also need space for people to spot us because we will always try to do more weight than we are capable of (that is how you get stronger). We don't want the gimmicks or the classes or the circuits. Obviously that drives up the gym's overhead and decreases it's profit margin, but again we pay a lot more to make up for it. 

That all being said, it makes me sad and perhaps a bit furious to see my local gym take more and more space away from the free weights and equipment to make up room for CrossFit, circuit, and class stuff. I watch them pull space away from the men's locker room to open up more space for the judgment free, lady gym section, thus ensuring that one cannot urinate or change without being eyeball raped by old man dangly bits.

I dont own clothes and dont leave the locker room.
Wanna be friends? (raises knee on bench and rocks hips)
Image on DevintArt by Barnulf

They've also subtly rearranged the now condensed equipment space to be more circuit workout conducive and made the free-weight section more awkwardly tight. I get it, we show up everyday and wear out everything, because all us rats are always here, your overhead is high, you have to charge us more to recoup your expenses, I  get it. I even understand trying to diversify your market and poach business from Planet Fitness and CrossFit gyms, but it is a massive mistake to alienate your stable market (remember we are there day in and day out, year after year) to chase after the fad market. It is also a mistake on the gym's part to mimic Planet Fitness's layout because people do not go there because it's a better gym, they go there (if they even do) because it costs almost nothing to attend. You will also not be able to count on their "I forgot I even am a member there" revenue stream because it is a lot easier for someone to forget (or not bother canceling their member ship due to) $10 a month than it is for them to do so for $50.

Doing the classes, I get it; make your paper, they don't bother us. The circuit layout and the uncomfortable face to face or face to sphincter layout needs to go bye-bye. Don't forget that CrossFit is a fad, just like gyms that specialized in circuit training, or...well.. really every non-body building gym is and was. There is a reason that Gold's has been so successful for so long and that is because it has a very stable, but mentally unstable, obsessive, narcissistic, lonely, and body-dysmorphic customer base.We wont leave you as long as you keep our mirrors, our space, and our equipment. Sorry that we cost so much in overhead but you know we pay enough to make up for it, and if you turn this place into a P.F., a circuit, or a CrossFit joint, then you're only going to last by charging like they do. There are very specific reason business models work. 

That all being said, I would like to offer some free marketing and business advice to my Gym and all Real Gyms out there so they don't give in to unstable and temporary markets and lose their base.

1) One of the ways Planet Fitness markets successfully is that they allow premium members to bring guests in for free. That is advertising, and they do it because they know that that person will eventually become a member so that they do not have to go with their friend all the time or always have to fill out paperwork. 

Obviously I do not expect you to switch over to this completely, but it would be a very cheap (cheap because "free" never exists) way of recruiting members if you allowed your members to bring in a buddy once a week or something of that nature. 

Remember you do not make as much money off of "forget I am a" members because of your pricing, so you need to bank on converting people into gym-rats willing to spend more. Let them come in a few times and let their friends hook them for you.

2) A large quantity of your staff and members are amateur or pro body builders, use them. During the last local NPC bodybuilding show, you advertised in the gym the staff and members you had competing. Why would you spend money on posters and signs to advertise ONLY to the people who's money you are already receiving? 

What you should have done was made some posing trunks with your logo and given them to the competitors, or offer a free protein shake to any of your members that were willing to compete and mention or show off where they got that body they worked for. Very inexpensive advertising that would be successful based on the fact that it is other body-builders that inspire most bb-ers to begin.

3. If you want to be like Planet Fitness, a gym I have already pointed out as one that favors marketing and strategy over quality, than you need to advertise like them. Because you have your roots in and make your money off of bodybuilders, use that angle. Planet Fitness runs adds that point out it is not the place for gym rats and body builders and fit, gorgeous women; advertise that you are.

Run an add with an average Jane (ha! that's it average Jane!) and a toned Adonnette and say something along the lines of "What body do you want staring back from the mirror? Only Gold's has the equipment, the staff, the members, and the mindset to make you look like the person you are inside."

Boom

Do the same thing with men.

 or 

Show a power-lifter or a jacked and shredded but normalish guy and then a skinny teen and run the tags "Who do you want spotting you?"

"Who do want training you?"

show a bunch of CrossFit girls and fitmodels with the line "'Lunk' is a dirty word, we motivate, not discriminate" or something along those lines.

Other gym's want to bill you as the place for body-builders and toned or muscular women? Own it and profit off of it. 

Just don't change.